Success to me may differ from your definition. Your definition of the word might include things like wealthiness, accomplishment, or being famous. As a matter of fact, the definition is something like this: Success=an accomplishment of a goal or purpose. This is fine and good, but what I’m going to be talking about is the idea of success and not exactly the definition.
Success to me is a state of mind in which one is truly happy. It requires wisdom, maturity, and work for most people to be happy. That’s what it takes for me personally. Some may just naturally be happy, (my hat’s off to you if you’re one of those!) but that kind of person is a rare treasure. What I think it ultimately boils down to is making a conscious choice to be happy.
Now, let’s take a few seconds to think about being happy. What is it going to take, or what does it take for you to be happy? Is it lots of money, being free of debt, having toys? Is it helping others, donating, volunteering? Is it your dream job, owning your own company, inventing something? Maybe it’s being a published author. Maybe it’s coming home from a hard day’s work to your loving spouse and children. More than likely, it’s a combination of some of these thoughts. So, since we have determined what it will take to make you happy, let’s figure out what’s stopping you.
If you aren’t consciously and consistently moving yourself toward a goal that you’ve set, you aren’t getting any closer to being where you want to be. The most important and surefire thing that you can do to achieve happiness is to set goals for yourself. Step one of this process should be sitting down with a pen (maybe just a pencil/eraser combo depending on how indecisive you tend to be 😉 ) and paper. Step two is writing down your main (ultimate) goal. This is the big one. This is where you see yourself being happy in your day to day life. Keep in mind that there will always be small hurdles. Even when you’ve made it to you’re “happy place,” there will still be things that come up. They might try to knock you down, or make you take a step back. Just remember that you have made a positive choice to be happy. The next step is very important in making sure that you stay on the right track. This will make the journey a lot less mundane and tedious. Set small, realistic, and somewhat easily obtainable goals that you would like to reach as steps to take in achieving that final goal. Each time you check one of these smaller goals off of your list, reward yourself in some way!
All of this is going to take time. As they say, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” It isn’t going to happen for you over night. No one is going to make it happen for you either. You are the ONLY one who can make you happy. As long as you stick to your plan, and keep reaching goals, you will get there! It requires the right mindset and definitely dedication, but if you believe in yourself, there’s nothing that you can’t do.
When you’ve reached your final goal, guess what! Time to set another one. I don’t believe in “happily ever after.” This means that you’re probably going to work at it for the rest of your life. Human nature is to want more and more. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The world is here for us to enjoy. Take it by storm! As you go, and as you get older, things will change. You will find new things that interest you. When you start achieving your goals, you will get on a roll and realize how capable you are. This might give you a hunger to “succeed.”
I hope that you’re as excited for yourself as I am for you! It would mean the world to me to have inspired a single soul to better his or her life. This is all you, by the way. Sure I wrote the info, but you took the chance. You kept reading. The ball is in your court. What are you going to do?
Marriage is something entirely different that I would like to touch on. I know that a lot of people are in stale relationships that are only being held together by children or just the sake of not being alone. This is not happiness. I am not telling you to leave your spouse. Actually, I want the opposite for you. At one point you were madly in love with this person, but things happened along the way. You fell into a routine, and you can’t stand it. You can’t get along any more, or you just flat out avoid interaction. Maybe you’ve just become roommates. This is where individual happiness, love, and respect play a huge part. Marriage is hard work. I’m serious. If you have been slacking and not giving 100 percent of yourself to your marriage, it’s time to reevaluate. Marriage is not 50/50. It is 100/100. If both parties are not working every day and choosing to love the other, it isn’t going to get better. You both have to sit down and talk. You have to decide whether or not you are both willing to do whatever it takes to be happy together. Is it worth saving? I say yes.
There are many things that will continue to help a relationship/marriage grow. 1) Continue to date your spouse. I’m sure there are plenty of things that you’ve never done together that you could try. Maybe just go out to dinner once a week or once every other week. 2) Read together! This one is big. It gives you a chance to talk about something that you’re both involved in. If you choose a book that will help your marriage, you are killing more than one bird! Don’t be ashamed to do whatever it takes to save your marriage. 3) Figure out how your spouse receives love. They may have a different love language than you, therefore they receive love in a different way. Usually the way we receive love is the only way we know how to give love, and that could be the wrong way to give love to your spouse. These are all just suggestions from a guy who has been through tough times. My wife and I have had to learn the hard way how to be happy together, but it’s getting better every day. Just stick to your guns, don’t give up, and wake up every day making the choice to love him or her.
Thanks so much for reading this post! Below is a link to a website containing information on the love languages. I am in no way affiliated with the following website. This is for your information only.
Thanks again! -E.G.